Because I need better Rise of Skywalker closure
by L'ouiseau
Summary: Rey wouldn't have been able to grieve around any of the other rebels.


Her eyes flew open. There was something there, she was sure of it - a presence she had not felt since the Last Battle, but that she had always suspected/hoped might still be hiding deep inside. Her heart was racing as her eyes darted around the room. There was nothing there; the feeling had begun to fade as soon as she woke up, and she wondered again, as she often did, whether it had just been the phantom longing of her own mind imagining the impossible. She missed him desperately.

In the months since he had died, she had felt more alone than ever. There was no one in the universe she could talk to about this. He had been their enemy - her enemy - and he had been guilty of unspeakable crimes. The Darkness had been driving his soul so ruthlessly that to everyone else, there was only one being: a twisted, evil, irredeemable monster. She, and his parents, had been the only ones to hold on to the belief that he was not lost forever, that he might still break free. And he had. They had done it together.

She pushed herself up onto her elbows. Her eyes continued to search around the room that felt more empty with every passing second, and her mind was reaching through the tangled web of her own mind, searching for something to hold on to. But it was gone. Faded back into the darkest corner of her soul where even she with all her power could not reach it. She fell back into the pillow and stared at the ceiling. Her eyes filled with tears that slid slowly down her face and into her tousled brown hair. "Please," she whispered. "Don't go."

Her chest ached. She closed her eyes again and tried to breath normally, but it was no use. She would not be sleeping any time soon. She swung her feet off the bed and stood up, wrapping her arms tightly over her slender torso. There was a giant window taking up almost an entire wall and she crossed over to it: it was her favorite thing about this room and the whole reason she had bought this ship.

She stood there for a long time staring out, her face lit with the shadowy glow of a passing nebula. There were millions of miles between her and the nearest living creature and she could feel every inch of it. She had come out here alone on purpose. There had been no possibility of being able to grieve for him around any of her friends and compatriots. They would never understand the depth of her pain. To them, he had been the epitome of evil, and they would not be able to grasp the idea that the raging diabolic monster they knew had in reality died long before the man she had loved.

Time is always tenuous this far out into space, and she didn't know how long she had been standing there staring into infinity when she suddenly realized that something was different. Her breath stopped and she froze. It was there. He was there.

"It's you," she breathed. "I know you're there,"

There was a long pause.

"I'm here," came a hoarse whisper.

She turned around. There was a shadow in the corner that had not been there before.

"Where are you?"

He did not answer at first. She took a step towards him.

"I… I don't know. It's abstract. I think I'm always with you."

"Why haven't you tried to speak to me before?"

"I wasn't sure I could. I wasn't sure if you wanted me to."

She took another step. "I've missed--" her voice caught."I've missed you so badly," she choked. "Please don't go,"

There was a ghost of a smile. "You and I have been connected so powerfully for so long - I don't think you could get rid of me even if you wanted to."

"I don't want to. Ever."

"Don't say that. You could still meet someone else."

"No." Her voice was firm. "You were it. There will never be another you."

"A blessing for a lot of people."

"They could never know what you went through. I knew you could do it. I knew you could break free."

She could feel his eyes burning into her. "It would never have happened without you."

"What about you?" she asked. "Does this mean you're stuck in limbo? You can't move on? You can't rest in peace?"

"I am at peace. I am a part of you. I want no other afterlife."

She took another tentative step. "How real are you?" She hesitated. "Can I touch you?"

Another long pause. "I don't know," He said again. His voice was shaking. She stepped closer.

And they reached out their hands.


End file.
